Finding Balance

Today I completed my longest brick of the season and likely my life. And it was a great success (read with Borat-like accent)! I rode 60 miles and then ran 12. I know that seems like nothing to you Ironpeople, but for me it was a lot. Especially because lately I have been feeling completely and utterly OVER this sport. But, thankfully today's brick went really well and aside from having to stop and stretch towards the end of the run because of hip and knee tightness, I felt pretty darn good the entire time. But it hasn't been like this all summer. AT ALL.



Let me back up a bit.



Up until today, every workout I have done has been like pulling teeth, hair, fingernails, or whatever else to get me out the door to complete it. Most mornings I would wake up with this overwhelming sense of dread. I was not having fun with the sport anymore; somewhere between my 900th sickness of the year and 40th brick workout, it had become work. And I always said to myself that I would quit this sport as soon as it became work.



Well, I don't want to quit the sport. I love it too much. But I do want to get back to a place where I enjoy it. Where I can decide what workout I want to do based on mood and feel and not what my training plan says I have to do. Just like with the rest of my life, I want to find the balance between loving it, yet still competing well. I realize what an elusive balance that can be, but I feel like last year I had found it. I want to get back that.



Now, I know you all are rolling your eyes thinking about all the times you read about me wanting a coach and wanting a more concrete training plan to follow, but that was before I knew what I know now and the balances had been tipped for three quarters of a year, half of which I spent sicker than a dog.



And for me that is a lot about what this sport, and I guess life in general, is all about: the journey and what we learn and take with us along the way. This year I have learned a great deal about myself, my goals and how I want to achieve them and I am telling you right now that what I am doing right now is not how I want to do it for the rest of my life. Or ever again for that matter.



So today's brick was a huge relief in that I finally knew my body could handle the distance it is preparing for. Especially because two of my other long bricks of late had ended miserably, leaving me questioning my ability to finish my next 70.3. But rather than feel elated and wanting to do more at the end of today's workout, I felt elated that it was over and that I never have to do it again if I don't want to (I am into the taper now and Steelhead is my last tri of the season). And I am eager to get back to shorter distances that don't require 5 hour training days.



So no, I will not be signing up for an Ironman. (I have also learned over the years to never say never, so I won't say I'll never do an Ironman, but I can definitely promise it won't be anytime soon.) And I also extremely admire everyone who has done or is currently training for an Ironman; I think you all are extremely dedicated and strong. I just don't want to do that myself.



And as far as the witch doctor's suggestions go, I made it two weeks on the wheat, soy, peanut, beer, spelt, tofu free diet. But even in those two weeks I had neglected to read a couple of food labels that contained wheat because I couldn't imagine them containing wheat, even though they did (and soy too). The whole thing seemed frustratingly impossible. So I would say that I followed it about 90% , but seeing the futility in the whole experiment on account of knowing I would never again eat pizza with a rice crust because it does this to my oven:

and it tastes like $hit, I ended the diet a week early (plus, my checkbook couldn't take another biweekly trip to Whole Foods). And guess what? There was no apocalyptic, Y2k like moment when I took my first bite of wheat. On the contrary, everything continued as normal except my taste buds were rejoicing at the taste of real pizza. And I still feel fine. I do have other friends that swear by the witch doctor's suggestions, but I am going to do my own research on homeopathy and see where I am with the western medicine vs. witch doctor debate. But I suspect what I'll find is that the answer lies in a balance between the two.

I also look forward to having a job and lifestyle this fall that will allow me to pursue more emotional and physical balance. And Steve and I will be running the Baltimore Marathon because a) I want to be a good little supportive wifey on his first marathon endeavor b) I can train with running just 3 days a week plus a little Pilates here and there and c) I won't have to deal with high maintenance triathlon training. I am hoping that he and I have great success come October 10th as a result of this new balanced approach, and of course I look forward to learning from the journey along the way.